A Horrible Thought has Just Struck Me…

http://www.nypost.com

With the resignation of Pope Benedict XVI, the hunt for a new Pope is on…..

Deals behind closed doors, dirty work at the crossroads, favourites falling at the first hurdle…if the atmosphere still exists as described by Roger Peyrefitte in his novels ‘The Keys of St. Peter‘ and ‘The Knights of Malta’, not to speak of ‘Secrets of the Conclave’.

And in a Peyrefitte world, anything is possible.

The Church is said to need someone who will be a CEO….as well as being a holy man.

Someone who considers himself an ideal CEO in a global enterprise and who would not…while squirming and grinning at the suggestion….be unwilling to describe himself as holy needs a job.

One with sovereign immunity.

Thwarted in his Brussels ambitions, upset by the unfavourable reception of his efforts to make dirty police states acceptable, it occurs to him that one day he might risk the same problems as General Pinochet.

He’ll touch down at some airport and a local judge will have him in the slammer for violation of human rights…or as a war criminal.

So sovereign immunity would be handy.

And he has the qualifications….

He converted to Catholicism some seven years ago.

Canon Law allows for a Catholic layman to be elected as Roman Pontiff…

But there is a stumbling block.

The Roman Pontiff must be capable of being ordained as a bishop.

And the ideal candidate…in his own mind…has a problem there.

He is married.

And even if he managed to bring the entire English nation over to Rome his marriage would still be the stumbling block.

I never thought I would be thankful for Cherie Blair.

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70 thoughts on “A Horrible Thought has Just Struck Me…”

  1. Hilarious!! I can’t believe the amount of coverage it’s getting here in Spain…including giving the odds for those in the ‘running’. They haven’t mentioned Tony though. It really is a bizarre and horrible thought, isn’t it? Bet he’d do it in a shot though if he could! Axxx

      1. Of course, but is it really surprising? It’s scary and outrageous but honestly not surprising. Unfortunately, all too easy to acknowledge the point you’ve just made. Reminds me of my reaction on reading, “Profiles in Courage” by JFK when I looked at the paucity of heroes in government that he wrote about, compared to the majority. Too little cream to rise to the top.

        1. Society in the last forty years seems to have invented a mechanism for sinking cream and multiplying scum.
          Decent people…on the whole… won’t go into politics as they refuse the control by the industrial, financial, media nexus which pulls governmental strings and which now…in the measures to combat so called terrorism…restores to life the precepts of de Maistre – the rule of authority and the enforcement of blind obedience to its demands.

        1. But so influential, de Maistre! Right down to Maurras and Action Francaise….and clearly not yet dead, with the nexus of cartels substituting for the Pope.

          There are some great people who comment here…it’s one of the chief pleasures of blogging!

      2. Doubtful it will ever die, as long as political elitism (aka: corruption) exists and I don’t see that heading for the exit any time soon but maybe I’m wrong. Any chance we could entice you to come to Ojai for a visit. I’ve been telling my hubby about you (he’s also a retired attorney-NASA) and these conversations are right up his alley but he’s allergic to blogging. We have a bed and food for you! πŸ™‚ p.s. I wholeheartedly agree about the great people here and the comments.

  2. Don’t be too quick to count him out, Fly. That smirking lump of slithering slime may do a Henry VIII and get the marriage annulled. I don’t think he’d let something as insignificant as a wife get in the way of his insane ambition.

    1. True…no one would believe that the mass of egoism known as Cherie would commit suicide by inadvertently swallowing her New Age crystals…so annulment it is.

      Don’t envy the cardinals if the old rules on bread and water are enforced for delay in deciding while Tone pushes through the necessary formalities…

  3. Ooer, what a thought!
    Most of the press here in France is omitting to mention B16’s lack of action over paedophile priests and his failure to reform the Vatican Bank’s laundering of Mafia money. Not worth mentioning probably.
    I’m sure our Tone would be delighted to step in and divert all that bad money, probably to the Cayman Islands…

  4. Thanks for an excellent splutter into my coffee! Although Katinka, positioned as usual between me and the keyboard, was less amused πŸ˜‰
    The last time one resigned there was no peaceful retirement. He was promptly murdered by successor…
    BTW Niall wonders who BXVI wrote his resignation letter to…

    1. There’s probably something resembling one of the post boxes put up at Christmas for letters to Santa Claus…

      And if Tone were to be the successor no doubt history would repeat itself.

      My apologies to Katinka.

  5. Granted, I was still half asleep when I opened your post this morning…. My first thoughts were…. ha ha, Pinochet for Pope….then reference to Cherie had me thinking through her role as a civil/human/legal rights champion…..then, it clicked….and I re read it. Now I will join others and have a laugh with my coffee. Jx

    1. And people think vampire films are scary….one look at that on the balcony and I’d be diving behind the sofa….

      I wonder what name he would choose….would he think he could get away with Simon (Magus)?

  6. Loud guffaws – what a bizarre concept (but not totally beyond the bounds of possibility, I fear)! I can just see the headlines: ‘Curia in chaos – conflict over Cherie’! The saying ‘if you want the job you shouldn’t go or it’ id more true than even in this case. – somehow the concepts of holiness and being a CEO don’t seem to go together (St Francis had problems in that direction, as I remember). And I wonder what the ‘renegade’ Anglicans of the Ordinariate would think of the idea – perhaps one of them might be another potential eligible candidate, too. Now I know another reason why I’m not an RC – the jockeying in the corridors of the Vatican is probably most unedifying, and would horrify the majority of the faithful if word of it got out!! (Remember the suspicions regarding the death of JP1st?) But TB for Pontiff? God would really be joking if He allowed that!

    1. Sorry – didn’t do a proper proof-read! Should have read ‘is more true than ever’ (3rd line down)!!

  7. Brilliant hypothesis. It’s so ridiculous that people in religious, academic, artistic or charitable vocations are now also expected to have cut-throat business acumen… In my experience such interests are usually mutually exclusive…

  8. Yip. Too bloody accurate to be funny, dear Helen.
    Blair presided over the type of political machine that chills me. When a leader can appeal to Faith when asked to justify decisions taken, we have surely reached the nadir.
    I’ve no doubt that RC Inc. would kill for a leader like Tony.
    I am no religio – but I do feel deep sorrow for the good people in that church who have worked to alleviate suffering (I think of the liberationists) even whilst their religious organisation sat on financial reserves that could have done their job a million times over. Even whilst their religious leaders backed corrupt police states; shored up the most iniquitous forms of social conservatism and came to the aid of abusers.
    Power corrupts.
    Ratzinger apologists will inherit another neo-con.

      1. I read THROUGH A GLASS DARKLY, THE U.S. HOLOCAUST IN CENTRAL AMERICA by Thomas Melville (former Maryknoll Brother). His wife lectures on Women’s rights and Latin American issues. His book covers the hypocrisy and evil done in the name of Imperialism , Capitalism and Religion. How each depends upon the other. Shameful stuff Helen.

  9. We’re close to it here…close to the newspaper reports….close to eye witness statements.
    Visit the small town museums in Nicaragua…the Heros and Martyrs…run by the mothers of those tortured and slaughtered – and ask yourself where was the Church…as opposed to several courageous priests.

  10. Have to say, religion, catholicism, misogyny and tony blair all leave me cold. I couldn’t even be arsed to write about it so I admire you for finding something humerous in it all. i found more to say about horse meat. Perhaps there is little difference.

        1. I’d never make a princess…the peas of injustice can be felt through many a mattress. I might take to the vodka….

          Perhaps I already have…messed that one up good and proper…must be the insane royal blood…

          1. Wouldn’t take much to feel the peas through our camping mats on the floor πŸ˜€ I have recommended vodka for toothache to numerous people, even Americans, and they all endorse it. I rest my sleepy case.

  11. Pope Tone I. Private Eye should be told…It would make a brilliant regular column. As long as it doesn’t become real life…..

    1. I expect he thinks so too…but possession of the triple tiara would be reassuring, while Cherie could wear it in her nunnery as a consolation prize.

      The plan for the Neighbour is interesting, Mark, but his speciality is cutting off water…..

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