All The News That’s Fit To Print

The Men have now accepted that the car has to pass the M.O.T. this month so are out and about ordering parts which may materialise when pigs take to the air and visiting the Cuban electrical genius to get the window opening mechanism sorted.
This latter visit may or may not have been pushed up the ‘to do’ list by my trip to town with Danilo yesterday.
Lulled into a sense of false security by the recent unseasonable days of heat and sun he had left the driver’s side window down and when the cloudburst hit us half way up the hill the mechanism failed and he was rapidly becoming soaked.
With a cry of ‘Puna!’ (polite version of ‘puta’) he reached into the back and dragged forth the plastic inner of a feed sack which he then draped over the window. Fine for protection….not so good for all round vision as at the junction he had to lift it to peer out for traffic coming down the hill towards us.

As in their absence the calls for coffee and the anxious enquiries as to the whereabouts of items last seen in their possession have decreased in frequency I have had time to
A Listen to the Test Match undisturbed
B Catch up on local events via the Facebook page set up by a chap who clearly finds the town hall version somewhat bland and uninformative.

So I thought I might give you a glimpse of what goes on in the area…a little bit skewed as the canton is celebrating the one hundred and forty sixth anniversary of its foundation.
Why the one hundred and forty sixth?
That’s our council for you…

So what has been going on?

Computers and suchlike equipment were seized from a house where a woman was suspected of copying child pornography for distribution in the U.S.A.

puris someone's built a house where he souldn't...Someone has built a house where he shouldn’t have, thus undermining a retaining wall just completed by the council, whose offices are in chaos as the police investigate some two and a half million colones (about two and a half thousand pounds) which grew legs and disappeared in the course of three days….and there were protests at two suspects having been named by the alcalde (mayor) as this is a small place and everyone knows them and their families.

puris busThere were further protests when the person who has managed to hijack the bus company’s radio frequency, thus obliging the drivers to switch off in order to spare their passengers impassioned diatribes of an improper nature, was described as a sexual obsessive.There were no protests at the suggestion that the same person was responsible for a bomb hoax which closed the company’s terminal in the capital.

A man in his seventies was killed when his sister in law – in her sixties – resisted what she took to be an attempt at rape by throwing him against the wardrobe.

puris a bridge over the virilla to piedras negrasA bridge has been flung over the river on the road to Piedras Negras…
puris pilgrimage to la negrita piedras negras
just in time for the annual pilgrimage in honour of La Negrita….

puris traffic accidentsThere have been the usual plethora of traffic accidents….

puris road under last
and some roads have finally started to be repaired.

puris marijuana in the parkA whopping packet of marijuana was seized from someone in the central park…..

puris drunken teenagers
While two fourteen year olds were found reeling drunk in a shop in town and attended to by the Red Cross.

The church has installed a credit card machine for donations….no more excuses there, then…

Deputies in the National Assembly came down to the celebrate the canton’s anniversary; one stating proudly that he had been down three times since being elected in May….

puris children dance group
puris gala 3
The anniversary was celebrated with rock concerts and traditional dancing….

puris the earthquake on july 24
There was an earthquake or two….

And someone lost to all sense of decency poured paint over the statue of the town’s mascot, symbol of the local farming community.
puris sapo
A cane toad.

The mind boggles.


39 thoughts on “All The News That’s Fit To Print”

  1. Your town makes mine look like the most boring place in the universe. Then again, I suppose if I dug around, I’d find all sorts of interesting little tidbits. Perhaps I don’t want to know…

    1. All depends on whether you have a local rag – whether paper or online: as I’ve commented, noit a great deal of diffference between what happens here and what happened in rural France.

  2. On your side as well. How can I not be. You’re a brilliant woman, writer, and most importantly make me laugh. “When pigs take to the air” and the euphemism “puna” (with your more accurate translation) is quite the way to start a Sunday.

  3. I would try something like that based on our local paper but the boredom level might be reached somewhat quickly!

  4. So nothing much happening to keep you entertained. πŸ˜‰ Wonderful post, Helen, I love the image of the 60-year-old lady hurling the soi-disant rapist at the wardrobe. He was either very lustful or very foolhardy, but I don’t suppose we’ll ever find out which. Are any charges being brought against her, or will she receive some kind of civic commendation?

  5. Earthquakes, reeling drunk fourteen year olds, vandalized frogs, credit cards in church. Just another day in your wonderful part of the planet. And have I mentioned I love your writing style? You never fail to make me laugh.

    1. Apart from the earthquakes (and perhaps the toad,, as I cannot imagine that two groups of people in the world would come up with this as a mascot) I bet something similar is happening in your neck of the woods.
      It used to amuse me when visitors to rural France would comment on the calm tranquillity of it all…if they’d read the local rag they would have seen that it was nothing of the kind!

      I’d prefer that you laughed than that you cried…that’s for certain!

  6. You’re absolutely right, Helen. All this, bar perhaps the cane toad, could be found by assiduously reading the pages of La Gazette de la Manche or any other French local paper. Our local rag back in Mid-Wales is much less informative or interesting.

    I was glad to read on FB that the car passed its test. You can put down the machete for a bit then…

    1. Re the car…they are unbearable! I suppose that the replacement part will arrive in time for the next M.O.T……but in the meantime we have the toggle…

      There were two local rags in my area….both were wonderful sources of news especially as they catered for different readerships…one, the lay and the other the bigots…so you would occasionally have differing views of the same incident.

  7. What an entertaining post, that is the sort of news that I would expect from Africa. As for the car, no MOT’s in South Africa so the window would never be fixed. Have a good week and I hope you both are well. Diane

    1. The M.O.T. test is extremely rigorous – the company having the monopoly intending to make the most of it by failing anything they can.
      However, the employees at some depots are more sympathetic than at others and there are garages which specialise in the dark arts of getting your car through the test, while the men hiring tyres are still in business – though no longer on the forecourt…

      The Men are quite happy with the toggle system…..until one of them has to get out in the pouring rain to raise the window by hand…

  8. Just a nice quiet week in the country then! πŸ˜‰
    Death by being flung against a wardrobe–it does have a certain ring to it doesn’t it?
    Enjoy the final test on TMS –we are πŸ™‚

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