Election Fever and Marriage a la Mode

CR presidential candidates

Election time in Costa Rica!

On Sunday people will be voting to send deputies to the National Assembly and electing a President.

There is plenty of choice…thirteen candidates….and no real way of knowing how people will vote on the day.  The polls show that an increasing number of those who intend to vote are not at all sure for whom to vote…..though there is a suspicion that those who intend to vote Liberation are afraid to say so, linked as that party is to institutionalised corruption, but will vote green and white, the party colours, once in the privacy of the booth.

Liberation’s candidate, despite being a front man for the Oscar Arias tendency – think mining concessions in protected areas – claims to be ‘a man of the people’. Well, given that his family let out offices to government institutions on the grand scale I suppose he is a man of the people who let out tower blocks…

The defeated Liberation candidate, an ex President who thought it wise to sit things out in Switzerland for several years after his term of office ended, obviously felt sour as he has been financing a noisy demagogue from a tiny party made up for the elections who wants to rule with a firm hand and is notable for announcing that female judges could only get advancement by giving senior male judges oral sex.

An indignant retort from senior female judges rebutted his claim but, as has been noted, only in respect of oral sex….no all embracing rebuttal has been forthcoming.

Then we have the evangelical whose wife speaks in tongues…the video on Facebook has been removed but not before it had gone viral…and a horde of more mainstream candidates.

No Screaming Lord Sutch for Costa Rica.

The local internet groups have been infested by paid ads from those wishing to represent local people in the National Assembly…an ex mayor proclaims that it is time for a native son to represent the canton, forgetting that people have far from fond memories of his mismanagement of its affairs when in power.

What has he done for the canton? Filled in the holes in the athletic track, apparently. So that’s where all our taxes went…

Another bright spark is using the slogan which brought the retiring President to power  – despite representing a rival party – in the hope that people will think it is more of the same….

And the omnipresent candidate for Liberation is promising water for all.

Water is a sore subject here. Thanks to dire mismanagement and neglect there is a water shortage, incredible as it may seem in an area alive with springs and rivers. So we have been treated to photographs of said candidate standing in front of waterfalls and crouching in front of water tanks…when asked on a ‘phone in exactly how he intended to provide water for all he said he would have to study the question with the Water Board, the very people responsible for the mess up….

But people here have other things on their minds…that public nuisance The Neighbour, he of the crisp white hat with the curly brim, has surfaced again.

He had been quiet, not to speak of invisible, for quite some time, given his problems with the various local Mr. Bigs  after losing their money in a casino, but he has emerged to public view once more…on the arm of a lady in her thirties who had consented to marry him.

To general astonishment as she is

A, half his age and

B, generally held to be in possession of her senses.

He had been seen a couple of times, driving round the Three Valleys in her company, but he had installed himself in her comfortable house on the other side of the town while waiting for the ceremony, following which, totally pie eyed and full of himself, he brought her on another tour to introduce her to those who were still on speaking terms with him.

A distinct failure of judgement on his part as she thus learned that the farms he had pointed out to her as being his were, in fact, those of the people whom they were visiting…

It is possible that the atmosphere had chilled somewhat after that, but The Neighbour, of course, had to excel himself.

A couple of days later he was eating the dinner she had prepared when he took a telephone call on his mobile from one of his barfly friends.

Yes, he bawled, he was set up for life now! It was like  having a free pass to a brothel with the food thrown in….

The food might have been thrown in, but The Neighbour was thrown out, on the spot, on his ear and his possessions thrown after him.

The marriage lasted five days.

The lady is breathing fire and loaded for bear.

Much more exciting than some bald bugger crouching in front of a water tank…!

36 thoughts on “Election Fever and Marriage a la Mode”

  1. Here’s hoping whoever gets in has a genuine interest in the welfare of the region and it’s people. I have naively convinced myself there are some honest politicians somewhere so why shouldn’t you have them.
    Keep looking after yourself Helen.
    xxx Massive Hugs xxx

  2. Turkey and its sole politico, which are in the global news on a daily basis, have nothing on your shower – as for the neighbours – ours are grey and drab by comparison. A most enjoyable yarn to start my day!

  3. Speaking of election slogans, I ran into an old one attributed to British Foreign MInister (urk!) Boris Johnson’s father when he ran for–oh, I can’t remember what. I think it was MP: More talk, less action. No, I didn’t mistype that.

    1. I suppose he was trying to improve on ‘jaw, jaw not war, war’ and failing miserably so to do…
      I like the Spanish expression…the ‘menos mal’ just for its literal translation of the least bad…

  4. Essential reading for all fans of democracy in action. A cast of comic characters who would be funny if they weren’t planning to run the country. As you say Helen, none of them are Screaming Lord Sutches because he would seem like a voice of reason compared to all the ones you mention?

    1. There are some sane and good candidates, but the press cut coverage of them and thanks to the vagaries of public funding for elections they have a job getting their programme across.
      Mark you, looking at the Tory ministers in the U.K. I would say that Costa Rica has serious rivals…

  5. I think it is time the neighbour stood for election, surely he has all the talents that are required?
    How I wish the Monster Raving Loony Party would stand in this area.
    I would offer to stand for them myself but I might get elected!
    Could it be the ex-wife has friends who might ‘speak to her husband’ I wonder…?

    1. You would know where you were with The Neighbour, that is true! What you see is unfortunately what you get…

      I suspect the wife will have her revenge in the divorce courts…they take a dim view of insulting women which might prove costly for him…

  6. Fun, fun, fun – it makes Brexit etc seem so simple – though we could do with Screaming Lord Sutch in the UK to counter the jokes in all the mainstream parties here. And now you’ve also got me wondering how we appoint judges. It reminds me though – the first step to achieving anything is to turn up; these people have done that, whereas most people don’t.

    1. Screaming Lord Sutch would be the voice of sanity compared with the current bunch of incompetents claiming to run the U.K. today….
      How people are not storming parliament I do not know…well yes i do…people know that parliament is no longer the seat of power, that belongs to the banks and the mainstream press.

      1. You may be right. A serious thought – obviously, storming parliament isn’t the answer; but I’m not the first to point out that there has to be a better way of running government. The only people who seem take it (and themselves) seriously are MPs and others of limited vision. We need some serious reform.

        1. I agree. We need to break the party system and start to persuade real independents to stand for both local and central government. Unfortunately the fairly recent increases in deposits for Parliamentary elections are a deterrent…
          We also need a better, independent press….I think there is something called UK Column which started off in Portsmouth and now sems to be national with stuff on Youtube…perhaps other local initiatives could copy their model.

  7. Your elections sound so much more engaging. We in the States select from various reprobates for our leaders. You too have reprobates running for office, but they’re *interesting* reprobates, or at least their antics are interesting. The end result is the same, but you at least get a bit of entertainment thrown in. Or perhaps that’s not better.

    1. People don’t seem to grasp that if you want the President to succeed in pushing through his programmes then he needs a majority in the National assembly. Our current President has faced nothing but obstruction there together with a constant drip of criticism from the newspapers allied to his opponents….and now that his party’s candidate has shown up well in the T.V. debates the press is trying to sabotage his campaign in the last few days before the election. Desperate to get Liberation back in power to keep up the old Spanish customs…

      1. I think many people do grasp that concept, but would rather see the “other” side lose at the expense of national progress. We see it here with adherents of both parties. If the other side comes up with a good idea, they attack. If their side comes up with the same idea, they love it. Meanwhile, those in power and the elites they answer to line their pockets.

  8. It’s understandable why the neighbor and his younger wife are more interesting, at least you know some of their story. The others who knows how much is fiction–the waterfall images or fact? Hope you, Leo, and the gang have a good weekend. It continues to be uncharacteristically warm in this drought (ie: lacking water, like Costa Rica) place. 🙂

    1. Well, as long as there are no more mudslides…
      Locally the marriage of The Neighbour rouses a lot more interest than the election….the waterfall photo roused a friend to comment that it would be good to see someone pissing on that gentleman from a great height…

  9. Many’s the slip twixt cup and lip…
    One wonders if fair lady had no clue before. If she had them, she certainly didn’t entertain them.
    Happy elections.

  10. Ha ha I have always enjoyed your stories of the neighbour but this is the very best. Love it.
    I am sick of elections after RSA and our staff being taken away by the ‘army’ at gun point and told who to vote for!!
    Have a good Sunday and I hope both of you are well Diane

    1. Thanks Diane…I have been down with a bug so Leo is coping manfully. Will I ever find anything in the kitchen, I ask myself…
      Worrying what is happening with Zuma…
      The Neighbour has bad luck with women….not surprisingly. Some years ago he took up with a young woman and taught her to ride a quad bike. A few days later she shot off on it, never to be seen again…

  11. I imagine the food was thrown at him …..

    I read your election bulletin with a sinking heart … it seems to me that rather than being entirely baffling it is now seriously rivaled by several I could name in England (where I am at the moment). I saw a tiny island somewhere in Scotland for sale the other day. The appeal grows stronger by the minute …. bon courage à Costa Rica 🇨🇷

    1. Makes Screaming Lord Sutch look like the mainstream…but just look at how powerless the citizens are to change things while a party system is in power.
      Looks as if there will be a run off…only if a candidate achieves 40% will he be said to have won outright, so we might yet be spared a first lady speaking in tongues…

      1. I’m presently in Britain with my dyed in the wool Tory Mother. Perhaps I should suggest we hightail it to CR to stop her thinking what is going on here is at all acceptable or normal 😉

        1. In my experience no dyed in the wool Tory can think at all….they are hard wired to what they were told when young and refuse to open their eyes. Compare the Conservative party of Macmillan with this bunch of vulgar thugs…and to think that we considered Maudling and Marples as being untouchables…

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