The End of a Relationship

Dido and Aeneas it is not…no one is sailing off to pastures new, no one is committing suicide.

One party is disgruntled…the other, on reflection, decidedly gruntled. The gruntled party is me.

You know how it goes…one party makes incessant demands…the other slowly and inexorably resents same…tension builds, yet it was a mutally beneficial relationship while it lasted..but has finally ended through the intervention of a third party, as these things so often do.

Those kind enough to follow these ramblings may remember the case of the negotiable cow some years ago, when the young man who lives with a lady whose father had rented our finca tried to stiff us for one thousand dollars in claiming that a cow of great value had suffered injury thanks to our negligence in maintaining the finca..the which maintenance, according to the contract, was down to those renting the finca.

The young couple have since moved into the finca in front of our gates, turning a beautiful green space into a diddicoy encampment. Animals cannot graze so are banged up in roughly built sheds, reliant on supplies of inadequate fodder

They seem to have overcome the problem of major debts…I believe the father sold another finca to keep the Colombian wolves from the door….but still live from hand to mouth…our hand to their mouth if they can manage it.

Since I have become more limited in what I can achieve, the offer from the young man to cover Sundays – letting the sheep out in the morning and shutting them up at night – was very welcome.

But very soon he started coming to the house, at all hours, asking to buy loo rolls, coffee, sugar – as if we were a shop – though for which, to be fair, he would pay on the nail. Leo, more patient than I am, went along with this, reminding me that the young man was not very bright and that he depended on the family.

In which case, since he worked like a dog for them why were they not supplying him with loo rolls, coffee and sugar?

Still he looked after the sheep well, so I let sleeping dogs lie and the loo rolls roll.

And then the old Adam reasserted himself…or, in this case, the old Eve.

Reckoning that while we would not lend her the drippings from our collective noses she thought she could make a flank attack, using the young man.

First it was that he was trying to build an independent enterprise, buying in chickens….

All he needed was the equivalent of one hundred pounds and it would make him free of the family…

No, it would not, said Leo, while he was keeping the birds on their finca….

Then he needed to pay off the hire purchase of a commercial freezer…..a loan of six hundred pounds to be paid off over six months – without interest because he could not afford that.

Leo doubted strongly that any commercial enterprise would agree hire purchase terms with a young man without an I.D. document – don’t ask – let alone paid employment….

Then Eve upped the stakes. The young man had a hernia…soon he would not be able to work. Not only had he no I.D. Document but he had no National Insurance coverage…so no treatment from the CAJA – the national health service.

He needed one hundred pounds for a private consultation.

Leo responded that he coukd have a free consultation as the family were members of the local co operative.

He is not family.

He had been for a private consultation…the op would cost four thousand five hundred pounds.

Leo…pull the other one it has bells on…bring me the estimate from the doctor.

No estimate and Eve drew in her horns…….slightly.

Three hundred pounds to buy avocados to sell door to door…

They would go off before you had had then two days…

The young man was pissing blood…needed a private consultation.

No he did not. The CAJA would treat him as an emergency and track down who should be paying his contributions.

He was not pissing blood.

We would be denounced for not paying his natiomal security for the Sundays.

Just try it!

In that case, said Eve, he cannot help you any more.


A neighbour has stepped in to help on Sundays and it is working well.

The young man wants his job back.

Agreed he is good with the sheep….but if he blows hot and cold at the bidding of Eve then he is no good to me.

So, no chance.

End of relationship…end of loo rolls.


35 thoughts on “The End of a Relationship”

  1. I feel for the young man.
    Clearly used by the ‘family.’
    Dumping them does sound the best idea however.

    1. Yes, we felt and feel sorry for him….he is, to all effects and purposes, a slave. Cut off from his family, not very bright, they are the only – hateful – security he has.
      Our lawyer found him a full time job with a roadside maintenance company where he would have been paid properly including his national insurance and pension contributions but the family threatened to throw him out if he took it…so he did not.

  2. Why won’t people learn that there is a straw that breaks the camel’s back? If you continually beg, borrow, steal and lie you will be found out and left with nothing.. This is far too much like the relationship between parasite and host to be allowed to continue. I think the break up was overdue.
    Huge Hugs

    1. I am exasperated by Eve’s stupidity….and by her use of the young man who parrots whatever she has told him to say. Clearly the ‘loans’ are for her and equally clearly we would never have seen the colour of her money if we had been daft enough to cough up.
      I do feel sorry for the young man..he is a good worker and good with the sheep, but, thanks to Eve, lies through his teeth.

  3. . . a world without money – or neighbours, either would do! I know, we political ‘Impossiblists’ should get out more!

  4. There is little sadder than the end of a loo roll.

    Manners and Hooman compassion are one of the eighteen-hundred cornerstones of civilisation, but they needs must be turned off and removed when folk take the piss

    tols at dawn perhaps, if it comes to a duel?

    1. Leo has tried to help, as has our lawyer…but he is too frightened of losing his ‘security blanket’ of that family, nomatter how horrible his life. Leo has made it clear to him that he can use the old house on our finca to house himself and his dogs if he is ever thrown out, or if he wants to leave….but he won’t budge.

      1. We are curious critters indeed to cling to the familiar so, even when it is mightily unpleasant. If we can but summon up the courage (and – I know – it is immensely difficult or sometimes impossible), leap into the new and then hold our breath for six months the new has by that time become the comforting familiar, and usually better than the past. You can’t force the poor chap, all you can do is be there with whatever is available, whenever.

        How much does it cost in your neighbourhood to have perhaps two or three people moved unexpectedly from this world into the (putative) next by person or persons unknown and at a place of no cctv coverage? There are parts of Glasgow where I know that the butcher’s bill would be not more than perhaps £75 all in, with a bonus bottle of chilled Meths to keep the deal sweet.

        1. You are quite right…he has to decide for himself but stepping out into a world with no fixed points is always going to be a fearful hurdle for him. Whatever happens, we will look after his dogs, so at least they will be secure which is something that worries him.
          Crumbs, we could start a whole industry in Costa Rica! Advertise in Glasgow…free flights and hotel, Buckfast thrown in, and spending money provided!
          When we moved here we walked into a water war, where a developer wanted to build over part of the valley and needed to show adequate water supply for the rabbit hutches he intended to put up. Thus he and his minions were busy cutting other people off…us included. It was quite messy and threats were flying thick and fast. We had a visit from a young man who wanted to assure us that if we were bumped off it would not have been by him as
          A he was not sure that the unregistered gun to be issue to him was in fact unregistered and B he was sure the price offered was not the going rate.
          I suggested to our lawyer that despite having criminal law, family law and land law specialists in his office he was lacking one vital colleague…the sicario – the hired killer. It would give clients options…they could take it the long way through the courts, or the shorter way via the sicario. He declined, on the grounds that the lawyers would have no clients and the sicario would be overworked.

    1. It is a horrible situation as not only is he worked like a drudge, out in all winds and weathers, but they take whatever money he can earn for himself as part of his ‘keep’.
      He had a little job at a neighbouring pig farm where the owner gave him a pig from time to time – until he discovered that Eve was selling the meat door to door at which point that job ended abruptly.
      We do feel for him…but without his co operation nothing can happen. He has turned down a full time job as the family threatened to turn him out if he took it even though Leo offered him the old house on the finca if he wanted it. His only security is the awful life he has – though he is happy looking after animals and does his best to supplement the poor feed provided for them.

    1. How true! We have The Nrighbour….though he is now a somewhat spent force after being hauled through the courts…we have this pair…we have the unpleasant North American who moved heaven and earth to try to stop us building our house….and the area’s denouncer in chief and son…but we also have the two Joses, one drunk, one sober but both good eggs, Nahe, who gave us access to his water supply when we were cut off despite threats from The Neighbour, Alvarado, a top class car mechanic, Alfonso, top class electrician, both of whom will drop everything if we need their services, Geraldo, who keeps his hives on our finca and provides us with honey, Martha from who we get fresh milk, so there is a balance. Just a pity that most of the bad eggs are on our side of the bridge on the good road up to town!

  5. What a sad story for the young fella. And that family…good grief were they raised by wolves?? Probably not since wolves have a high form of social responsibility for their pack members. Sigh.

    1. He is a poor devil. And what will happen to him? If one day he can’t work they will throw him out, I am sure. The father of Eve is a decent sort, but his wife is a she devil!
      We have tried…and if he does have problems we have the old house for him and his dogs….but I can’t have someone playing fast and loose on the whim of Eve when the care of the sheep is involved.

  6. That is the sort of story I would expect to hear in Africa!!!! Typed a bit more but decided that I had better delete it!!!

    You have done the right thing. Keep safe you two, Diane

      1. I hope you are not having problems with the driving licences….though I expect you sorted all that out years ago!
        Here, it is still vehicle restrictions…not very onerous, hand washing and masks if entering shops or offices and they are doling out the vaccines at a rate of knots. Not to tempt fate, but I think living out in the sticks with plenty of sun and fresh air helps a lot.

  7. Poor fellow, being manipulated and not having the wits or courage to break the chain. It must be most distressing and frustrating to see it happening. You can only do so much for somebody like that if they won’t do anything to help themselves.

    1. He has a sad history which made him vulnerable to manipulators….underneath it all he is a hard working lad, happy when working with animals and it would be good if he could make the break but it is a big leap for someone without any confidence in himself.

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