Hello, Hello, Who’s Your Lady Friend?

Last week we had planned to do a major shop in San Jose, and the cleaner, a lady in her thirties who looks mid twenties, had asked to go with us to stock up on stuff for Christmas before prices rose alarmingly for the festive and exploitative season. We would keep the meat and poultry in our freezer for her until she needed it. This being a visit to the big city she was well dressed and made up…unlike Danilo who shows his contempt for the capital by wearing his oldest working shirt and wellies.

Fine, except at the last minute I was not well enough to undertake the car journey, so off went Leo, the cleaner and Danilo while I returned to bed.

On return, Danilo was bubbling with something, but could not tell me until the following day when Leo was at the local hospital.

First, the context.

It is not unknown that Costa Rican women, seeing foreign men as rich, will try to attach themselves to them, in the hope of supporting themselves, their children and their families. Fine….there are others who just wish to enrich themselves…..and do so at an exponential rate. The laws, made with the view of protecting women and chldren in situations of domestic abuse, assist these predatory women.

Back to Danilo….

The first call was to Maria, a Nicaraguan lady, who has been a friend since we first moved to Costa Rica. She has looked after Leo many times over the years while I was visiting my mother and is a genuinely caring person.

This time she had bought in a load of dog food for us at a low price from her butcher and Leo was going to pick it up….but not without going in to have coffee, catch up with the family and swap the news.

Except that Maria took one look at the cleaner and asked ‘Who is this?’

Apparently Leo, now to be known as Lothario or Bluebeard, convinced that he is a thing of beauty and a boy forever, and full of bravado, said that this was his girlfriend.

At which point Maria said that he had a wife, and that, should he want a girlfriend, she was the first in line…all this accompanied with stroking him, cuddling him and darting evil looks at the cleaner.

Danilo was apparently in stitches. Maria protecting her ewe lamb from the ravages of a Salome…

Off they went to the Mercado Borbon to take breakfast at he caff we frequent.

Fine…the ladies took the order, and the cleaner asked for the same meal as Leo..chicken in sauce. His plate was laden, hers boasted a chicken piece so small that it must have been taken from a sparrow. The ladies asked Danilo why I was not there, but his explanations did not spare the cleaner dirty looks.

She wanted to buy chicken thighs, and, as the bulk price was better than the kilo price Leo bought her order with ours…. the chap selling them made a point of asking if Leo wanted separate bills…and looked very disapproving of the response.

Not the only reactions….we are well known at the Mercado Borbon – about the only foreigners who shop there – and I feel for the cleaner, whose treatment was humiliating .

However, should I pop my clogs before Leo I have no doubt that she would be under starter’s orders in the ‘catch an elderly Gringo’ stakes. But she would have to be wary of bumping, boring and obstruction on the part of Maria!

So now, before Leo is sent to Coventry at the Mercado Borbon, I shall have to make sure that I go with him on the next trip. Without the cleaner.


34 thoughts on “Hello, Hello, Who’s Your Lady Friend?”

  1. Leo is far the luckier man. I actually try to attract predator women and have a whole repertoire of activities akin to dragging a wounded wing or hobbling on broken feet but no matter my efforts or disguises, I never succeed as appearing to be prey for the predators. So here’s a toast to Leo for being game and playing his hand well. And you better keep an eye peeled as I hear that some of those CR ladies are wily indeed.

    1. Very wily indeed! We have lost one friend to a harpy already.
      Your technique is all wrong….harpies don’t want wounded beasts unless it is clear that they are on the swift downward path to the coffin….they want money, big money, spent on them, so much as it pains you of the Costco Thanksgiving meal, splash the cash!

  2. It is, I believe, a truism that humour does not cross cultural boundaries as readily as US drones do! You have a number of dog kennels I’ve heard!

  3. As I found out to my cost in nineteen sixty-four, a lifetime of building up a reputation destroyed in one day. Wrong Nanny, of course, but then spectacles of the strength that I require were yet to be put into orbit.

    1. He is all too well aware. We have lost a friend to one of these harpies already and examples are plentiful.
      He was teasing Maria, but her reaction and that in the Borbon showed how seriously people take the situation.
      Thank you, i am better today…just taking it quietly.

  4. LOL how funny I can just in imagine Danillo’s reaction. Hope you can sort out both your reputations 🙂
    I apologise for not being on line much. I had a bad fall out walking a couple of weeks back, sadly causing some damage to my camera lens which we are trying to get a spare part for. I think I cracked a rib, and I was black and blue and very sore. Just on the mend when I cracked my shin on the wheelbarrow yesterday, my leg ballooned and turned blue so an urgent trip to the Dr. I am now heavily bandaged with a compression bandage for the next 10days!!!
    Otherwise, all is well !!
    Take care both of you and keep safe, Diane

    1. Oh crumbs! you have been in the wars! A cracked rib is just horrible and nothing to do except to sit it out….and then the accident with the wheelbarrow to top it all. Those compression bandages make you feel like an Egytian mummy.
      Do take it easy and look after yourself. Can you get the spare part online, or will you have to hunt it down in the shops.

      Danilo made it all sound very funny….though not, i think, for the cleaner! A trip to the Borbon to clear Leo’s name is on the cards….

  5. We have discovered that the company has the part but they have not as yet replied to our question as how to pay for it or how they can send it. All info has been via email so we do not know if they have an online shop. We would phone them if we had a phone number but we have not got that info either. The email address we were given from the UK agent as they can not deal with us in France!!. Frustrating.

  6. I hope you feel better by now.

    I understand Leo’s situation. I often say things and find people are not understanding the humour.
    This can lead to er, unfortunate situations…
    Poor cleaner, if she wants a poor man to clean for I have some ironing to do, none here will misunderstand…

    Life with Leo, it’s a giggle innit?

    1. thanks, getting about again now, just in time for the weekly shop!
      I did feel sorry for her…he should think before opening the mouth! But the reaction in the Borbon was not own to him…it was just deep disapproval!
      I’ll see what she says about foreign travel…..but I think mention of being poor will not encourage her….
      I’ll say this for Leo, you never know what the day will bring! Sometimes luckily!

  7. I do hope you are feeling better Helen.

    Really, Leo should not be allowed out without supervision – your supervision.

    What will we be hearing next – mops at dawn for Maria and the cleaner?

  8. Yes, thank you, picking up again.
    More like machetes as far as Maria is concerned!
    We shall be visiting the Borbon this coming Friday…without the cleaner….so I hope this restores his reputation!

  9. Sorry to hear you’ve been a little crook; hope you are improved by the time this reaches you (I know it’s a long way).
    I feel that Leo is, possibly, deeply misunderstood. Not that it ever works for me.

    1. If you want dramatic, try life in rural France…naked women running through the wines, an agency hiring out nude cleaners, a political candidate dunked in the bath at an old peoples’ home, muckspreaders – mechancal – speeding through villages in full distribution mode….life is comparitively peaceful here…

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